He saaid it

Last night.....(not his words exalty) my dad finaly amitted he hated me....I always knew it......but him saying it was differant......

14

- I got a boyfriend, he is my first, and my only
- I had my first kiss, and my second and my third..... and my 100th.... :D
- I got......
-I did.....
lol :D
- I miss my boyfriend
- He is my bestfriend, one of my only 3 friends, blonde and blue eyes like i dreamed since i was 12, he loves God, and i couldn't ask for any better then him, he is the best! :D
- I really miss my boyfriend
- I miss HIGH school, I dont want to go to college
- my stomach is flatter :D bike ride more! keep going!!! AHHHH!!!! so happy!!!
- I wont see Jake for this whole week!!!! WAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.... yeah i think thats it.... HTU! mah number is 3057712197  so yeh.. hmu.. :/ im soooooo bored!

thoughts

....the reason I always feel beautiful when my hair is straight is because that's whn everyone complements me.... today, jordan, he complemented my eyes, no one ever did, I really don't like my eyes,so common, but I guess some how, differant... I guess I think I am pretty, I just won't admit it...

Bullies

There are many types of bullies,
There are cyber bullies,
There are bullies at school,
The worst bully there is, is yourself.
I have been there, I know your pain.
I'm the odd man out,
I bully myself because no one did.
I never gave them the chance.
I bullied myself because I had to feel.
I was numb,
I couldn't feel, I hid all emotion.
I acted like I was okay.
No one cared, they all pretended.
No one was there when I needed them.
THEY SAID THEY WOULD!
THEY NEVER CAME! THEY NEVER CARED!
No one saw when I was me!
THE REAL ME!
THEY FEARED ME!
THEY JUGDED ME, said I was acting.
They didn't care if they did hurt me,
I hurt myself worse.
With words,
Truth,
"You're not good enough!"
"No one cares!"
I tried death,
I don't fear death, just what people would say after I died.
Pain,
I clawed at my skin,
No one saw.
I stabbed myself,
No one stopped me.
I WROTE MY PAIN EVERY DAY!
They said it was sad, I should write happier.
I wrote perfect little stories,
Nothing goes wrong.
"Aww your stories are so happy, life is not like that."
DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW?
I LIVED WITH SELF INFLICTING PAIN FOR FOUR YEARS!
MY WHOLE HIGH SCHOOL YEARS!
I want it to end!
IT ALL COMES BACK!
I want to stop,
I can't stop this monster I have become!
I can't stop myself!
I WANT TO FORGET MOST OF ALL,
YET MY NIGHTMARE LIVES ON,
I FEAR EVERY DAY THE ONE PERSON I KNOW CARES
THE ONE PERSON THAT MAKES IT ALL GO AWAY,
I FEAR ONE DAY HE WILL ONE DAY SLIP THOUGH MY FINGERS.
when I am with him, I am not a bully.
Just someone that overcame it.

Unlucky 13

I can't live without my bf... I can't wait to see him today I'm no longer depressed I heard... I feel happy and free I only feel pretty when my hair is straight....

Story behind necklaces... key to my heart(just that) wish (I wish for love) love (bc I wish for it) I never take off these necklaces! Almost -- potc13 (@potc13)

Just me

I like to stand out in a crowd, thats just me... i ask for attention bc i am always alone, i want to hide the real me behind a shadow, but sometimes the sun comes out, thats when i run for the darkness.

Happy new year to all my readers

Happy new year to all my readers